Foro Académico Regional 2009
Ingeniería en Sistemas Computacionales
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You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
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Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
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Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
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I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
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Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
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Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
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It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
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The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
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Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
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I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
Re:Re:IMG_7083
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
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He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
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Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
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Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
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DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
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The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
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Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
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You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
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They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
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Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
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Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
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Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
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The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
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We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
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If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Re:Re:IMG_7083
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
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They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
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You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
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To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
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When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
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Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
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The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
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A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
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Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
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Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
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Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
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I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
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One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
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Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
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Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
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Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
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Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
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I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
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If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
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I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
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Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
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Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
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All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
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The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
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If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
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You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
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Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
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Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
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If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
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The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
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Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
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In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
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Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
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It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
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If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
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If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
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I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
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Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
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Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
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The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
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Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
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Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
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Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
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Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
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So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
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I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
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Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
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There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
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Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
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Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
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Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
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There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
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Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
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A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
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The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
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Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
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Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
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The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
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A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
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We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
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I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
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I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
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So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
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Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
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The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
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Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
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Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
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To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
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The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
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No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
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Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
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Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
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I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
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Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
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Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
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Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
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The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
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An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
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It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
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How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
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Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
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But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
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I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
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Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
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What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
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There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
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If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
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[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
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My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
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If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
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UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
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You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
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When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
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Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
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Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
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Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
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When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
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We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
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One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
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One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
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Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
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It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
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My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
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Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
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Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
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I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
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Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
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UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
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For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
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There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
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There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
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Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
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Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
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Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
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The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
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Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
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Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
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The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
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Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
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The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
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The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
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If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
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First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
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A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
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Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
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Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
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Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
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It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
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That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
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In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
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Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
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Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
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In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
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Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
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If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
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If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
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Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
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Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
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Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
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> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
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If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
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Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
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USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
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The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
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I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
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Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
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Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
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Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
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Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
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Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
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Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
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If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
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You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
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Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
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The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
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Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
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One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
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... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
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Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
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A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
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If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
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Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
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Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
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Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
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Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
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When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
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The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
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I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
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Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
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Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
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He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
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A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
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Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
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The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
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The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
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It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
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When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
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If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
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'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
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War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
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They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
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If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
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Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
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I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
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Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
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Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
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I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
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Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
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What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
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There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
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I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
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Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
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Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
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If theres one thing I know its God does love a good joke.
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Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
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Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
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There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
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I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
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If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
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Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
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Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
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The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
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Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
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The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
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Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
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Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
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Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels
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What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
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I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
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The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
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I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
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It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
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Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
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Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
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I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
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I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
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The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
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All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
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Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
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The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
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Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
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All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
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Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
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In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
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If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
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Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
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The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
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University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
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Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
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Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
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Testing proves the presence, not the abs
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